How Would Your Candidate Light The Way?

Politics Social 1253

During this Presidential campaign, one issue goes unnoticed, so I posed a question to all sides.  How would your candidate change a light bulb?

Bernie Sanders supporters gave a wide range of responses.  The first was to take bulbs from the hardware stores as they have plenty to go around, but then a large number of people started yelling “Black Lights Matter!”  I asked them to clarify, but they retreated to a safe space and would not speak to me.  A close second was Bill Gates and Warren Buffet should pay for all light bulbs.

My next stop was Donald Trump’s folks, and they were similarly divided.  One group said the bulb should be changed to make America bright again, and that their Mexican neighbors should pay for it.  Many also said that a wall should be built to protect it.  Several said Muslims should wear badges so if they approached the light they could be arrested and the light would be safe.

I stopped by a Democratic caucus, and they asked if Fox News reported the light bulb, then refused to believe it even happened. I went to a Republican rally and got the same sentiment except MSNBC was believed to have started a plot to create a problem that does not exist to give big government an excuse to regulate everyone’s lights.  As I left, a militia group was talking about taking over an abandoned light socket in Nevada, after they commandeered a snack machine.

Hillary Clinton’s people first refused to admit the light bulb needed changing.  Then they said the bulb went out spontaneously as a result of YouTube. I asked again what should be done and was told “Isn’t it time for a woman to change the light bulb?  Haven’t they earned a chance?”  Last I heard, Monica Lewinski was going to take over as she is used to doing jobs Mrs. Clinton finds distasteful.

Ted Cruz’s camp told me he had a plan to have all light bulbs changed, but government subsidies would end so all providers would be on equal footing in the marketplace.  The only caveat being Cruz was seeking to overturn the Supreme Court’s decision to allow married gay people to have equal access to light bulbs, and that would be one of the top priorities of his administration.

I heard Rush Limbaugh on the radio. “I have been saying for years the light bulb needed to be changed!  I said it the day Obama was elected!”

President Barak Obama had drafted legislation (the Federally Assisted Indoor Light Act) so everyone could get a light bulb.  If your light bulb still works, you can keep it.  And if you don’t have a light bulb, you could afford it.  To help pay for it everyone would be required to buy a new light bulb whether they needed one or not, and there would be fees for those who did not buy one.  I looked over the legislation and found out that all it did was move working light bulbs to sockets that weren’t.  Upon further investigation, I noticed this created a net loss of bulb as some sockets were faulty and would just destroy good ones.

George W. Bush spoke about his proposed No Light Left Unchanged Act, where every child would learn to change a light bulb regardless of race, gender, or socio-economic status.  He also said his plan was good for, “lightfulness.”

Jill Stein of the Green Party insisted that the light bulb should not be changed until alternate light sources were found.  Any change to the light bulb could be harmful to the environment.

Gary Johnson shared the Libertarian view, which an alternative to the light bulbs offered by the other parties would be provided.  When I asked for specifics, he countered that it should be enough that there was an alternative.

On my way home, I was mulling the day’s events and what they might mean to the election.  When I got home, I noticed my porch light was out.  I looked at it as I unscrewed the bulb.  It said made in Hungary.


  1. We could just leave it all to Jussie Smollett & Alicia Keys from “Empire” – they seem to know what really matters when it comes to changing light bulbs:

    1. That is hilarious! Maybe you are onto something though.

      1. All things considered, it’s worth considering. I often think the real candidates seem more fictional than the fictional characters!

Leave a Reply to Jade V Cancel reply

All rights reserved. © 2018 What Shane Said. Author: Shane Dean
%d bloggers like this: